BREAKING DAWN. Meyer, Stephanie. c.2008

If I didn't know any better, I'd think that BREAKING DAWN, the fourth and final book in the Twilight series, was a parody of the series itself. It is so ridiculous and badly written it almost must be on purpose.
But, it's not. This is, indeed, the finale to the saga of Edward, Bella, and Jacob. And it's unbelievably bad. So much so, I do believe it is the worst book I have ever read. Ever. I am serious. I don't mean Robin Cook bad, or Danielle Steele bad. Meyer's first three books in this series, which I reviewed below, were actually on par with Cook's and Steele's writing. I mean, it's seventh-grade tortured, rambling diary entry and submit it to a fiction contest bad. It's THAT bad and then some.

While some of the writing in Meyer's first three books was often mediocre and amatuerish, I really enjoyed reading them because of the truly intriguing love story she wove. The story itself had depth and the characters were believable and well-developed. By the third book, ECLIPSE, the reader expected certain things from the characters and we knew their motives and desires.

In BREAKING DAWN, not only is the writing terrible, but the events that unfold are ridiculous, unbelievable, and serve no purpose to the story but to fill up pages. The greatest travesty - and the book's major flaw- is that the characters are suddenly mere shells of their former selves. Jacob and Edward no longer fight for Bella and her soul, but give into her every whim. Bella is no longer afraid of anything and does not even struggle as a new vampire. She gives birth to a creepy promiscuous baby who drinks human blood - but the babe isn't a vampire herself and is actually very sweet. Um - why? What purpose does this serve? Well, it serves the same purpose as Jacob then imprinting with Bella's baby, and Bella becoming the best and sweetest and most angst-free vampire in the world. That is, everyone gets a happy ending.

And I, the reader, am so damned bored and disappointed. What happened to Edward wanting to save Bella's soul? What happened to Jacob at all? BREAKING DAWN has minimal conflict, maximum fairy-tale happy resolutions, and zero arc.

I really wish Meyer had ended the series with ECLIPSE.

BREAKING DAWN is not recommended at all (except for a compost heap or bonfire), even if - and especially if - you read TWILIGHT, NEW MOON and ECLIPSE. Just pretend the fourth book doesn't exist and imagine your own ending for Bella, Edward and Jacob. Anything you can think of will be better than this book, trust me.

TWILIGHT Series; TWILIGHT/NEW MOON/ECLIPSE. Meyer, Stephanie. c.2005, 2006, 2007.

So I finally caved and read the Twilight series. My daughter, who is eleven, owns these books and read them herself. I was never interested in them myself until I took her and her friend to see the movie NEW MOON (the movies are worth the cinematography and soundtrack, but nothing else). Although the acting and narrative pacing in the film left much to be desired, I did become intrigued with the story, so decided to read the books, especially after my daughter - who is herself an avid reader - highly recommended them. (I should have paid more attention when she professed disappointment in the series' final book, though, BREAKING DAWN - and that book will be reviewed separately from the first three.)

I'm lumping the first three books into one review, because, honestly, it's all one story, one narrative. (And I should note here that the story encompasses three books due to very large print and redundant dialogue and mise en scene - but more of that later.)
I did notice that Meyer's writing improves a bit (only a bit, though) with NEW MOON and ECLIPSE, and the taut web of Bella's relationship with both a vampire and a werewolf becomes more entangled and mesmerizing with each book.

First, the things I really enjoyed about the first three books -
All three novels are fast and engaging reads. Meyer weaves an incredibly compelling story of the tumultuous love triangle of Bella, Edward and Jacob, a story reminiscent of Wuthering Heights, yet narrated in a voice familiar to contemporary 21st c. adolescents.

TWILIGHT, the first book, introduces us to Bella and the community of Forks Washington - a landscape under a constant cover of cloud, mist and lush green forest. Bella has just moved here from perpetually sunny Phoenix AZ and the contrast is sharp and significant. She meets Edward Cullen, a strange classmate at her new school. Edward acts in ways she should interpret as red flags - but instead, Bella is intrigued, entranced, even. At the same time, Bella befriends a Native American boy, Jacob Black, who lives on a nearby reservation. Jacob is everything Edward is not - easygoing, bubbly, lighthearted, and playful. Edward is mysterious, dark, serious, almost brooding - and extremely pale. Guess which one Bella falls inexplicably in love with?
Jacob and Bella become fast and close friends, though, due to Jacob's honest, open nature and this is where the tension rides. Jacob falls in love with Bella, but Bella is so obsessed with Edward - and Edward so obsessed with her that he practically stalks and controls her - that she finds herself unable to return Jacob's affections despite her almost unconditional love for him.
Jacob is clearly - even after certain events in New Moon - the better, "safer" candidate for Bella. The reader can see that, yet, at the same time, we are just as drawn to the romantic, tortured figure of Edward.
Meyer is quite adept at sustaining this tension throughout all three books. The tension builds in NEW MOON when Edward is mostly absent but Bella pines for him - literally - and Jacob feels the sting of unrequited love. And it runs headlong into a climax in the third book, ECLIPSE.

I read all three books in a week. I could not put them down, and could not wait to discover what would happen. Would Bella come to her senses and be afraid for her mortal life? Would she ever see the good, mortal guy (Jacob) right in front of her? Would Edward ever do the truly noble thing and leave Bella forever or would he continue to torment her and himself forever? And, finally - would he actually go so far as to make her one of the undead, simply because he cannot live without her?

The story, throughout each book, held me in it's grip as I agonized along with the three main characters.

I was disappointed in the writing, however. Throughout all three, much of the dialogue is repetitive and almost seems to be used as filler, as if Meyer had a contract to write so many pages and struggled to do so. This frustrated me, furthermore, because I craved more details to the story. For such a thick book, so much seemed to be missing. I would have loved to have read flashbacks from Edward's point of view regarding his long history as a vampire and his ongoing struggle to remain "good". As it was told here, I felt many things, including this, were explained away too simplistically. I wanted to feel more the internal struggle Edward had with himself and with the knowledge of his power over Bella. I wanted Bella to question her own motives more. From the very beginning, she simply resigns to the fact that Edward is a vampire, but, hey - she loves him, no worries. Uhh, yeah. It's never fully explained why Bella is NOT afraid of Edward, even though some of his early behavior (before she realizes what he is) bothers her - and why she so readily accepts that he is a vampire. There should have been scenes and dialogue exploring this further. As is, the narrative feels rushed and sloppy at times.

However, there's seemingly no end to the descriptions of the many ways Edward kisses Bella's throat and lips. Not so much in NEW MOON (and it's the best book of the three, I think) but in both TWILIGHT and ECLIPSE, a good deal of the narrative takes place in Bella's bedroom at night, where Edward protects her - from herself and other vampires - and watches over her while she sleeps. Of course, before her slumber, there is much anguished, controlled kissing and cold-hard skin in the midst of burning desire. It got to the point where I was a little bothered by it - especially considering it's marketed to teen girls. It's an effective technique for conveying the prolonged anguished desire of teenagers trying to be noble, but - why is it constant? Is this Meyer's idea of Mormon soft-core porn or is it a morality tale that got away from her?

Overall, I really enjoyed the first three books. These are not life-changing books, however, and I can honestly say you're not missing anything by not reading them. In fact, you may save yourself some frustration if you don't as you won't then feel compelled to read the final book - BREAKING DAWN - which is arguably one of the worst books ever written. But that's my next review, and that's why it's separate. The first three - TWILIGHT, NEW MOON AND ECLIPSE - were highly entertaining and even thought-provoking at times. I just wish Meyer had stopped with ECLIPSE and let us draw our own conclusions about what finally happened to Bella. She let us draw our own conclusions about so many other missing details. . .

ANGELS & DEMONS. Brown, Dan. c. 2000.

I read this early summer 2009.

This was the novel Dan Brown wrote before he wrote THE DA VINCI CODE. Ill assume everyone's at least heard of THE DA VINCI CODE unless you've been living under a rock for the past ten years.
Like DA VINCI CODE, this one's what I'd call a "potboiler". You know, something fast and easy to read while you have more complicated things on the stove. . . So, for a "potboiler", it's decent. Not as compelling and surprising as DA VINCI CODE, but I'd still say more original. (A lot of THE DA VINCI CODE was based on the non-fiction book, HOLY BLOOD, HOLY GRAIL - in itself a fascinating book, but a whole other book review). Brown's narrative pacing is good, but a bit relentless. I could have used a breath here and there.
Again, a msytery regarding Vatican/Catholic Church secrets.
This is a good airplane/train ride read. (If you're Christian/Catholic, just remember, it's fiction, and whatever you do, don't read HOLY BLOOD, HOLY GRAIL - your head will implode.)
Overall, good, by no means great. (And I'd say the same for DA VINCI CODE which I read a couple summer back.)

BEYOND THE HORIZON. Angus, Colin. 2007.

Read: May 2008.

Reading Time: 1 and 1/2 days.

Despite the reading time, this book is a little bland, for what it is. It is a retelling of the author (and friend and girlfriend's) circumnavigation around the globe by human power, in 2003-2004. He was the first, apparently to ever accomplish this awesome feat. And, despite my not thinking the book is all that great, I do recognize this as something awesome.

However, if you like adventure/trekking stories (and I'm a sucker for them - I must have been a little British boy in my former life), you'll like this. However, I've read better-written accounts.

A couple of things turned me off about this book - the author's whiny, defensive tone, as he spends half the book lambasting his friend and once fellow traveler; and the lack of comment and detail about the places and cultures they traveled through. While I enjoy hearing about the techniques and logistics of hiking and biking trips, it's not exactly entertaining reading for others. I guess I was hoping for more of a story.
And the incessant whining about his friend who ultimately bailed on him is a little unbelievable. Maybe the author needed some scandalous element to enliven an otherwise dull story, or maybe he actually has recieved a lot of flak which he feels he doesn't deserve. Either way, I don't care, and it left a bad taste to the read.

I recommend you read a magazine article about Colin Angus's trek, instead of this book. Look for it on OUTSIDE online, or National Geographic, something like that.

CONFESSIONS OF A FAILED SOUTHERN LADY. King, Florence.

Read this just before Christmas 2008.

Autobiographical account of a young woman coming of age in Washington D.C. in the the thirties through fifties. Needless to say, she discovers she's a lesbian.

This is a very entertaining and quick, enjoyable read. I read it in two days flat, which, for me, means I couldn't put it down. (Because I rarely have time to read like that anymore, what with wifedom/motherdom/suburbandom. . . )

I find that the best autobiographies are the funniest ones, and the most self-deprecating. It takes a fairly objective eye to turn it on oneself and find humor among the trivial tragedies of our lives. This book reminds me of ANGELA'S ASHES in that regard.
If you've ever lived in, or known folks from, the South, you'll appreciate how incredibly funny - and true - this book is in portraying the "old-school" southern woman.
It is also a frank and unflinching look at the irrationality behind sexism, racism, and homophobia.

There are some frank descriptions of lesbian (as well as heterosexual) sex, so if that sort of thing bothers you, well - These descriptions are also side-splitting hilarious, though.

Recommended for anyone looking for something lighthearted, yet poignant, that will make you laugh and think.